My Life... A Cup of Deja Brew

HARDLY A NEW YEAR'S BLOG

but I've got some extra time...

and I simply adore her and on the off chance that somebody drops by who hasn't heard about her, I'd like to share...

and if a song can tell a story, I do believe nothing can tell it like this performance does...

so sit back and enjoy

and because I have a new and faster computer...:D

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

GOODBYE 2008... I'M OFF TO BETTER NOW

I'm keeping all the love. You can keep all the rest.

Some people's lives,
Run down like a clock,
One day they stop,
That's all they've got.
Some lives wear out,
Like old tennis shoes,
No one can use.
It's sad, but it's true.
Didn't anybody tell them?
Didn't anybody see?
Didn't anybody love them,
Like you love me?

Some people's eyes,
Fade like their dreams,
Too tired to rise,
Too tired to sleep.
And some people laugh,
When they need to cry,
An' they never know why.
Didn't anybody tell them,
That's not how it has to be?
Didn't anybody love them,
Like you love me?

Some people ask,
If the tears have to fall.
Then why take your chances?
Why bother at all?
And some people's lives
Are as cold as their lips.
They just need to be kissed.
Doesn't anybody tell them?
Doesn't anybody see?
Doesn't anybody love them,
Like you love me?
'Cause that's all they need.

-Janis Ian

1768 MARBLES

2009 is peeking and I can see its pretty little head round the corner. No, I'm not about to make my resolutions... can't even remember the last time I did that. I mean, I don't need to make new year's resolutions. I make them everyday, on the realm of weight management and all that hogwash.

I can't place where I read it from off the top of my head but it's got something to do with every Saturday that we still have left for the rest of our lives and thinking about how we choose to spend it or who to spend it with or how to feel about the day. People have bought marbles, enough to mark every Saturday and put them all in a jar and they take away one marble for every Saturday spent. Those who have gone on in years can actually see the marbles dwindle down to a few handful and there's one I've read who was actually writing his story with the last marble in the jar. Not that he was dying that day but I think there's something about the days breezing by and the time ebbing away becoming so visual that sort of makes one want to take stock and really think about what is most important in one's life and what form one wants it to take... from then onwards.

Why Saturdays? I don't know. It's probably because it's a given that we would work the rest of the week and Sundays are like the day before the start of the week so plans are basically left to a minimum, or to the upkeep of the house or stuff like that. So the way I see it, Saturdays are our personal days, the day of the week that can be left open for choices and presumably the one by which we can sculpt the rest of our life. This may be me romanticizing the whole thing but until someone can convince me of a more pragmatic and believable point of view, then this is it for me.

Saturday... do I spend it with my loved one or do I spend it at work? If I spend it with a loved one, how will I choose it to go? Will we be off somewhere and experience another one of the many firsts together or stay home and cuddle in front of the TV and hit the munchies? And if I have no choice but to be at work, how do I choose to feel about it, how do I make it a pleasant thing or something to look forward to? Either way, how do I make the day meaningful, what can I do so that I grow some from whatever choices I make for that single day?

So yeah, I think I'm going to do the marble for a Saturday thing. At Church last weekend, Pastor Rick said that statistics say that the average lifespan of someone who lives in southern California is now 78 years. That gives me 34 years before I hit the mark and with 52 weeks in a year, that's 1768 Saturdays... and 1768 marbles. That's not a whole lot when I look at the number in the backdrop of a lifetime. I want to see how I can make it worth more than that. You know, like making the parts amount to more than the whole, mathematically or otherwise.

I'm going to start buying my marbles next Friday, after a 6-day run at work... can't tomorrow cause I'm working. Oh, by the way, that also means 1768 blog entries.

Can I blog until I'm 78 years old? Watch me.

OUR BEST LAID PLANS

To say that a lot of our plans have been thwarted time and again is quite an understatement, isn't it? It's been said, and I do believe, that our plans are upset because there are bigger, better, although often more difficult plans laid down for us.

For instance...

all we wanted was to have a place of our own, we never planned for anything as nice as this, but we had it...

we never planned to go places together, the roads we took when we started were hard ones, but oh, the fun we've had...

we never planned to live elsewhere, all we aimed for was to keep the haven we had up in the hills, but look how far we've gone...

we always knew we wanted to live the good life, however vague that idea was to us before, but for a smokin', gulpin', chompin', roarin' punk to have cleaned up his act enough to be running marathons at midlife is something I bet we never planned for either...

And lastly...

I never planned for you in my life. How could I... I never knew the likes of you existed. But here we are...

and I certainly couldn't have planned it better than this...

HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY LOVE!

I PRAYED FOR YOU, MOM

Dear Father,

Back in the East, my mother would be waking up to her birthday. She would also be spending it for the first time without Dad and for the second time without Diko Jun. It will not be the birthday she used to know when she has not known about such loss. But I know she hopes in You, dear Lord, and she is kept strong by it. I thank You for that.

Please bless her with happiness, with a joy so pure that it will make her remaining days light and free. Bless her with good health and keep her in Your loving protection. Surround her with people who love her and truly care for her. Whisper in her heart how much I do, if my telling her so everyday is not enough.

All these I ask for her in Jesus name. Amen.

SUFFER THE CHILDREN

They called a code white in the hospital last night. There was this kid in PICU who arrested. He was in a car wreck. He was all of 18 months old.

This makes me very, very angry. I have absolutely no words.

There are reasons why children come to our lives. This shouldn't have to be one of them.

ONE HELL OF A LUCKY LADY

I can almost imagine the color draining from my face when I realized my purse was nowhere in the car. I made a quick U-turn before I completely exited the complex and went back to the parking lot. I couldn't make a more emphatic statement than a horizontally parked car spanning the width of 3 parking spaces would regarding the state of my mind when I saw the shopping cart where I left it but not a purse in sight.

I was thinking...

my credit cards...

my debit card...

my driver's license...

my nursing license...

my phone...

what a mess!

I was running into the store when the clerk at the register saw me and said, 'Well, well! I think somebody left something in the parking lot.' And sneered.

I would have plucked his mustache one by one for the condescension in that sneer if I didn't feel like hugging him for having my purse. He asked me my name and asked me where my driver's license was in the purse and all that stuff. He said a lady walking behind me found my purse in the cart and brought it in.

'You're a hell of a lucky lady,' he said. I said, 'Thank you.' I couldn't agree more.

And to you, whoever you are, may God bless you a hundredfold for the whole of your lifetime.

THE GRAND CANYON

I was here

together...

with them...

and it was grand!

Today...

you would have been 81 years old...

and I could have been home to help you celebrate it...

instead I'm celebrating the life you had right here where I am...

in remembering.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

SMART TOT

She was crying bloody murder.

I told her...

'I know you're hungry and I am going to feed you. But you know you made a little dooty and I can't let you sit on it. You have to let me clean you up and the sooner you let me, the sooner I can give you the bottle. Got it?'

So I turned and grabbed a diaper and when I turned back to her, she had both legs up in the air and she was cooing quietly. Yeah, I do think she got it.

And she was all of 7 days old.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Friday, December 26, 2008

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Friday, December 12, 2008

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Monday, December 01, 2008